OT: family driving me to the edge of the reef

[bluenassarius]

you know, i hate not being able to enjoy this hobby. i exited the hobby last time because they kept pissing and moaning about the reef. it's driving me to the edge of the reef. i truly feel like pouring bleach and walking away.

 

[Rekonn]

What are they complaining about?

 

[Unarce]

Tell them it's either this or 'Family Metal Detecting'!

 

[sfsuphysics]

Sorry to hear about that Sam, honestly I don't know what I would do if my lady nagged me about the hobby, I do sometimes feel reluctant to mention how much a skimmer, coral or fish might cost. However don't take out your frustrations on the animals, find someone local you could trust to take them without your family knowing , then pour bleach in the tank just to make a statement (put some fake corals and what not in there to fool them )

 

[Roc]

Sam, I feel your pain, My wife used to nag me ALL THE TIME, but then once I set up the biggest and most expensive tank I ever owned now she loves it.

If you need to get rid of all your amazing corals I'll OM you directions to my house

 

[Mr. Ugly]

Hang in there Sam. It gets rough. Upset partners are the worst. But things always go in cycles. That's the nature of Nature

 

[bluenassarius]

she wants things to happen that cannot happen right now. all i hear is nagging. only if there were as much action as the nagging i think i could live a sane life.

 

[bluenassarius]

i was just thinking out loud. i wouldn't dump bleach into the tank..

 

[kinetic]

sorry to hear of the troubles sam. that really sucks. I'm sure you've done all you could to try to resolve it. Hang in there buddy!

 

[Mr. Ugly]

Nagging sounds like this:

"nag nag nag nag you suck nag nag nag nag nag you suck nag nag nag"

Sometimes that's the best that the person can do when trying to communicate.

There's a message way down deep in there, and it's usually not the one that you're hearing at the time.

Hope it gets better, Sam.

 

[robert4025]

[quote author=bluenassarius link=topic=4955.msg60792#msg60792 date=1224902107]
i was just thinking out loud. i wouldn't dump bleach into the tank..
[/quote]

Sam....want a free frag? It'll make you feel better and forget ALL your problems...hehe.

 

[Tumbleweed]

[quote author=robert4025 link=topic=4955.msg60819#msg60819 date=1224914621]
[quote author=bluenassarius link=topic=4955.msg60792#msg60792 date=1224902107]
i was just thinking out loud. i wouldn't dump bleach into the tank..
[/quote]

Sam....want a free frag? It'll make you feel better and forget ALL your problems...hehe.
[/quote]
Free Frags make everything all better

 

[bluenassarius]

thx for the support guys.. funny thing is, she was the one that got me into the hobby. she said i have enough passion for the both of us so she stopped.

lol free frags are always a bonus. not fishing for frags tho. i came home w/ a few frags yesterday and the wifey was upset.

 

[robert4025]

Sam...you must be a rookie at marriage and reefing. See, you always bring home the flowers and jewelries along WITH the frags! Get youself some new corals and maybe get lucky...look at that! Always worked for me.

 

[orientalexpress]

for better or worse ,nagging is part of married.gl



lapsan

 

[MontanaBay]

my girl friend used to give me a hard time about how much time I spend on my tank, I took her to the LFS and let her pick out any fish she wanted. To my surprise she spent 2hrs trying to find the "perfect" fish. Now she has an little interest in the tank (helps feed, keeps an eye out for problems) and is a little more understanding of vested interest and committment required to keep these tanks running healthy.

So maybe try to switcheroo, trick her into going the LFS and picking something out, maybe set up a nano for her?

Cheers,

Josh

 

[Mr. Ugly]

[quote author=bluenassarius link=topic=4955.msg60827#msg60827 date=1224920438]i came home w/ a few frags yesterday and the wifey was upset.[/quote]

It's not necessarily the frags or reefing specifically.

One typical scenario is the partner's perception of priorities.

Sometimes the nagging translates to "You're doing X, and I think you should be doing Y." Where X and Y can be from among an infinite number of things.

Of course the other person's view is, "Well, I have been doing Y. I just need to spend some time doing not-Y. Cut me some slack."

And so on

 

[Tumbleweed]

Well put Norm. That is why I do as much of Y as possible while the wife is around and X when she is not or when she is asleep.

 

[tuberider]

Man you guys got it rough I must say, I wouldn't want to listen to that myself. Luckily for me I test drove a bunch (way too many actually) before I took the plunge.... Wait I didn't take the plunge, after 11 years I'm still not married

 

[Mr. Ugly]

Test drive is the way to go

All you unmarried/unattached guys, pay attention to Jeremy. Seriously!

I feel sorry for the reefer dudes, in particular. Something about that personality type... a lot of laid back introverted nice guys or whatever...

Too many cases where their partners lay down some serious harsh.

It really is true about nice guys finishing last.