Jestersix

Keep your post and threads clean

I’d like to think that @roostertech’s wife and I are pretty on board with our husbands reef tanks. And @Chromis is the one running her tank, not her husband... Dick’s wife is making everyone lunch on Saturday...
 
Absolutely, and Geneva was a great member with a really nice tank, but unfortunately you guys are the exceptions. Not saying women can't keep reefs or like them, just seems significant others often get annoyed by or jealous of the time spent on aquariums, and most of the people keeping reefs are men, and most of their significant others are women. Again, just a joke anyway, and mostly about myself and my wife. I'll keep it to myself.
 
I was at an LFS yesterday and this guy was there looking at stuff to buy but he was stopping to call his wife repeatedly to make sure whatever he was interested in was what she wanted. One time he tried to call her but didn’t get through because she was actually calling the store to talk to the store worker directly and make sure her hubby was staying on track with her instructions. LOL

Clearly that lady is involved and interested in the hobby.


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JVU said:
I was at an LFS yesterday and this guy was there looking at stuff to buy but he was stopping to call his wife repeatedly to make sure whatever he was interested in was what she wanted. One time he tried to call her but didn’t get through because she was actually calling the store to talk to the store worker directly and make sure her hubby was staying on track with her instructions. LOL

Clearly that lady is involved and interested in the hobby.


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Hahaa. Sounds like she should have gone to the store!!
 
Interesting. There seems to be an almost unknown and unseen (by men) misogyny at work here. I have made more than my share of jokes (mostly ex-wife related) about our hobby. Daily we all get a chuckle out of posts that indicate someone tells their wife that every piece of equipment or fish they buy was just $20.00. Frankly, all those jokes and witticisms are misogynistic. When we're standing around chatting that probably is acceptable male "banter", but on a board that has some fantastic women reefers, as well as men, we should be more aware of how it comes across to them.

The few times I've worked at Diablo Corals to help out Jess it became apparent that very few of his clientele ran a male only tank. Their SO's were for the most part involved in a "family" hobby with them. This was apparent a number of times when a guy would come in and pick-up the fish, etc that has wife had seen and wanted. Or they came in as a family. These boards may not reflect what's happening in most reefers houses.

I'm glad this came up. I'll try to do better.
 
Bruce Spiegelman said:
Interesting. There seems to be an almost unknown and unseen (by men) misogyny at work here. I have made more than my share of jokes (mostly ex-wife related) about our hobby. Daily we all get a chuckle out of posts that indicate someone tells their wife that every piece of equipment or fish they buy was just $20.00. Frankly, all those jokes and witticisms are misogynistic. When we're standing around chatting that probably is acceptable male "banter", but on a board that has some fantastic women reefers, as well as men, we should be more aware of how it comes across to them.

The few times I've worked at Diablo Corals to help out Jess it became apparent that very few of his clientele ran a male only tank. Their SO's were for the most part involved in a "family" hobby with them. This was apparent a number of times when a guy would come in and pick-up the fish, etc that has wife had seen and wanted. Or they came in as a family. These boards may not reflect what's happening in most reefers houses.

I'm glad this came up. I'll try to do better.
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Thanks Bruce!
 
Thought on forum etiquette. This is a PUBLIC forum, open to all visitor and potential member. It is, for better or for worst, our one and only public image. Whatever is posted on here will end up representing all of BAR and not just your own personal opinion. So when folks are offended, it is not just about what is being said, it is also about how it affects our feeling about our association with BAR.

On having our SO involvement, just like every other hobby, if we make the effort to make it an "our" thing vs a "my" thing, our SO would be a lot more willing participant.
 
Kremis said:
imo there are very few little kids on here that we would want to avoid looking at that lol.

on the other issue, I think that you guys could have handled it a little bit differently. By reading that thread, it looked basically like one person started it then all of a sudden @DEATH BY SNU SNU was being attacked by all angles by several different people on a thread where HE WAS GIVING OUT FREE FRAGS. I feel like the moderators could have stepped in and simply removed all posts relating to the argument before it got this out of hand, and instead of having several members of the club all of a sudden target someone, they should have PMd a mod and that mod should have just removed the post and maybe sent a message to the offender. I personally dont mind it, but if you really are that offended about it I mean by all means PM a mod but dont start futher conflict in the thread by bashing that user with several other people. Personally I have met @DEATH BY SNU SNU and he is a great guy with amazing tanks and corals, and have traded with him multiple times. I think that yall were kind of getting too worked up over this and handled it in the wrong way to the point where it escalated.
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I totally agree.. he is such an awesome guy, helped me a lot and he has a good character from what I could see, and jokes are just to make the forum fun, I know we kind go above and beyond sometimes, but instead of going out, just PM and explain the situation, I think is just a better way to solve things... but unfortunately the internet is a weird place indeed lol.


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My wife is pretty on board with me.. unless I want more fish or corals lol.. she even went to the swap with me... for thay I give her kudos, especially because she is not that into it, but she supports me.

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I guess I missed the thread, but all forums have their limits and moderation. And it seems a lot of forums are male dominated like car forums, electronics forums, video game forums, sports forums, etc. There is an increasing activity of female participants I've noticed. Actually, some forums have a female only sub-forum too. But it's fair to say that we should be respectful to one another and like other's have said, either private message or use the report button.
 
I am not sure if we have a code of conduct. Most online forums tend to use a vetted code of conduct to arbitrate such issues. It also gives the users a clear and somewhat precise understanding of what to expect.
 
Ranjib Dey said:
I am not sure if we have a code of conduct. Most online forums tend to use a vetted code of conduct to arbitrate such issues. It also gives the users a clear and somewhat precise understanding of what to expect.
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BAR has an anti-discrimination and anti-harassment policy that relates to some conduct concerns.

It used to be available through the Quick Links along with BAR By-laws and BAR Mission Statement.

The policy also used to be stickied in the Welcome forum.
 
Mr. Ugly said:
BAR has an anti-discrimination and anti-harassment policy that relates to some conduct concerns.

It used to be available through the Quick Links along with BAR By-laws and BAR Mission Statement.

The policy also used to be stickied in the Welcome forum.
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hopefully someone smarter than me can figure out how to do that again?
 
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